Printshop Owner translations for Newbies

[Earendil]

Sweet, I could go for another round!

We'll skip the pints this time and go for a Mucho Gusto! (44oz mug)

Shot of Patron this time!

[John1234]

Can we throw in shot of Beefeater's?

[Herb4]

"This has to run tonight" = The customer will make 3 rounds of changes to it today.

"This is a real simple 2-color job" = Files will be in Publisher, RGB links embedded links and no fonts

"Here's the logo you requested in a vector program" = JPG logo rasterized in Illustrator.

"The files are in CS3/Quark 7. Do we have that software yet?" = Customer has no business even working in CS1 and has never come close to mastering Quark 4.

"I just bought us the new OS/Software upgrade/RIP software" = Nothing will work correctly for the next 2 months.

"This is a 'super hot rush!'" = This is exactly like every other f**cking job I bring in.

"Can you take a look at these files and make sure we can use them" = I have no idea what the sepcs are for this job.

"The customer needs some real simple layout/design work done" = I'll be designing and revising this bastard for 2 months.

"The files have been e-mailed" = The files are on our FTP site

"The 24 page, 4/c brochure has been e-mailed" = The files are in MS Word

"Art for this (rush job) will be here by lunchtime" = Art will be here the next morning if we're lucky.

"Can you call this customer/designer and walk him/her through this?" = Customer is an idiot. Designer is a secretary