Prepressforums.com

lux_nunchucks · #81 (**permalink**) 03-06-2006, 02:04 PM

Had to revive this thread from sinking too far into PPF-land. These two shiny happy client memories popped into my head today:

1) "I shouldn't have to pay for little tweaks and changes I need to make with every order" told to me matter-of-factly by a client who had a different flyer printed each month to advertise her fancy little Scottsdale, Arizona furniture store.

2) "I can't believe you people don't use WordPerfect. EVERYBODY has this program! What kind of business is this?" scolded to me by some moron who walked in the front door, also angry that we couldn't pop his floppy disk into the computer as he stood there waiting and print out a proof for him. I sent him to Kinko's, gladly.

Earendil · #82 (**permalink**) 03-06-2006, 03:14 PM

Phone Call...
Me: Hi may I help you
(1st thing out of his mouth)
Him: Good day sir, I am writing a book using Corel, I know you are probably an Adobe Goon but will you work with my Corel file anyway.
Me: No.

Normally I would have tried his pdf, and yes I guess I am an Adobe GOON but the CSR wasn't around and this guy was going to be a pain in my butt for the rest of our relationship. Relationship terminated.

Earendil · #83 (**permalink**) 03-06-2006, 03:52 PM

This isn't a stupid computer question but it is one of my favorite stupid printing questions.

Client doing a presscheck: How long will it take to be finished after it is printed.

Me: Oh, a couple of days, it will need to go back through the press to be perfed and scored, it will have to dry and finish up in bindery.

Client: Now, do you perf both sides of the paper at the same time?

Me: Yes.
(With my hand in my pocket pulling leg hairs to keep from laughing)

JimG · #84 (**permalink**) 03-07-2006, 03:42 AM

Make sure you tell the client to bring some extra half tone dots to the next press check, in case they want a color change. :lol:

Rickyp_uk · #85 (**permalink**) 03-07-2006, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earendil

This isn't a stupid computer question but it is one of my favorite stupid printing questions.

Client doing a presscheck: How long will it take to be finished after it is printed.

Me: Oh, a couple of days, it will need to go back through the press to be perfed and scored, it will have to dry and finish up in bindery.

Client: Now, do you perf both sides of the paper at the same time?

Me: Yes.
(With my hand in my pocket pulling leg hairs to keep from laughing)

Thats funny!

We had a sparky come round to do some cable he walked into our production meeting and said: 'where dya want all this paint movin'

RIP_SLAVE · #86 (**permalink**) 03-16-2006, 01:33 PM

----- Original Message -----
To: "Fred"
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 8:43 AM
Subject: Program

Hi Fred,
I will be faxing you a PO form for this year's program.
I believe you have printed this same job for us in the past.
I am going to try to have the artwork for this job available to you
by this Friday afternoon. What would be the best and most cost effective
way to set up the Word doc portion of the job?
More than likely the Word portion will just involve the headers being
one color and the body of the text being another color.
I believe in the past have given you the Word document in black
and you have printed it in whatever color had been specified. I wasn't
sure if this would be handled differently since we will be doing two color
this time. I do have a question about paper. I see from last year's job, a 40# Premium Groundwood -80 bright paper was used. Is the Premium Groundwood available in different colors? In particular a light gray?

Thanks for your help,
Customer

Fred emails me;

Any ideas how we approach this?

Tim

My response;
I walk to his office get his attention hand him the print out of the email he had sent me and say "I think the only way to approach this is you do the direct approach make eye contact and make nice while I will sneak up from behind and crush her skull with a baseball bat"
Since Tim is a co-owner and too busy to listen to anything we say, his reply was "Did you know Customer A(not this customer) sent a file to our FTP last night and no one sent him a proof today." puzzled look - throws paper back at me and says "I gotta get this done, we will tackle that in the morning."

Mikie · #87 (**permalink**) 03-16-2006, 04:02 PM

I once heard a customer tell the pressman he needed to make the dog look happier...

jem0701 · #88 (**permalink**) 04-04-2006, 10:48 AM

In order to read the invitation when it is
pulled from the envelope, will it be 4 by 6 or 6 by 4?

seetomtype · #89 (**permalink**) 04-04-2006, 11:25 AM

Last Friday we had a customer ask "Exactly how many posters can we get
for the price of 10?" I think it took us about 15 minutes to figure out
exactly how to answer that one, and all we could come up with while
being professional was "10, Ms. Cutomer."

Rickyp_uk · #90 (**permalink**) 04-04-2006, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seetomtype

Last Friday we had a customer ask "Exactly how many posters can we get
for the price of 10?" I think it took us about 15 minutes to figure out
exactly how to answer that one, and all we could come up with while
being professional was "10, Ms. Cutomer."

I just fell off me chair! Thats a classic!