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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2005, 03:13 PM
Miztrezzz Miztrezzz is offline
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Monday match print rant..oh the anger

so we have a potentially massive client, "themthatshallremain namelessbutweallusetheirproducts"

we get all the horribly rendered art for the new "ultra tiny nameless pocket music thingy"

first off the art work is so totally FUBARED it looks like "ttsrnbwautp" hired a highschool student with a hacked copy of maya to design their product release advertising.

for the entire week of release its been through about 25 proof stages on our end alone. of course the genius that is the salesman from "ttsrnbwautp" insists on using a glossy paper match print with solid inks to use as a color match to our 250" by 80" banners on vinyl with CMYK. anyone see where this is leading.. by the time it gets to my nighttime desk im working over the day guys 30th color correction with 50 adjustment layers all doing random weird things.

sales coordinator> the shadow on the product is too blue, can you make it more red?
me> umm its a black shadow..there is no magenta in the channel or yellow. all black.
sc> yeah but can you just add like 3 points of red to it?
me> 3 points of what? magenta and yellow?
sc> no just red
me> (25 minute tirade into the finer points of cmyk and channels and a pms book)
sc> :blank stare: can you add 3 points of red or not

at this point i went to the ladies room and cried, planned both of their deaths by drowning in vats of magenta ink. at this point its 2am, the rep is flying in the morning to show the banners to "them" at 6am. so we have to get it done asap.

i added her F-ing 3 points of red. it looked horrible and she knew it. i finally told her to give me the original files on cd and i would match the gray from the match print to a gray off of our internal charts so we could go home. but NOOOO the salesman was convinced it was fine.

of course i walk the next day to over hear "oh we didnt get that MASSIVE HUGE NAME MAKING CLIENT because digital dropped the ball on the color corrections" and its somehow MY fault.

kill..destroy..explode. :x
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Old 10-03-2005, 04:33 PM
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tbJAMMIN tbJAMMIN is offline
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YOU BASTARD!!!
You stole my best customer............
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Old 10-03-2005, 06:42 PM
pix3lphr3ak pix3lphr3ak is offline
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hey no wonder my new ultra tiny nameless pocket music thingy i bought fromttsrnbwautp doesnt match the ads i saw!

time for another fieldtrip to the pressroom where nobody can hear your screaming
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Old 10-04-2005, 04:45 AM
 
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Miztrezzz,

My suggestion is to keep a bottle of brandy in your desk drawer. The next time you have to add two or three points of "Red" you can have a couple belts to help with the adjustment (color and mental). This course of action is only recomended for medicinal purposes however.
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Old 10-04-2005, 06:21 AM
papawestray papawestray is offline
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How to make the aforementioned people types SHUT THE F**K UP
is to ask

"Do you have and up to-date *Confirmed Colour Vision Certificate?? The proof looks fine to me. Its probably a deficency in your chromatic adaptation. I would have it checked out if I were you. You see the trouble is you will never notice that you're seeing a cast that isnt realy there."

At which point you walk off and make a coffee and tell the rest of the crew that "no wonder we lost that last job , the reps got bad eyes"

They soon leave colour descisions to the people who know what their doing.

* Substitute suitbly baffeling colour blurb as you fell free.

Also compound their confusion by asking things like "what colour would you say this is?"
They answer and you go 'Mmmmmm thought you might say that? and walk off again.

They soon leave colour descisions to the people who know what their doing.

And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on?
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Old 10-05-2005, 08:10 AM
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Lammy Lammy is offline
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next time get the sales slime to put in writting what changes they want done. then do them as best as you can with notes like "added red to black only shadow". Then when the uppers start pointing fingers you can at least say you did what you were told.
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Old 10-05-2005, 09:35 AM
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santa santa is offline
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I prefer to bring the proof home to my five year old and let him have a go at it with his crayons.

"Face is to red." = 5 year old takes "flesh" crayon and goes to town
"Sky is to orange" = 5 year old takes "sky" crayon and goes to town

Because as we all know color correcting "Is so simple a five year old can do it."
-unamed NYC creative director.
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Old 10-05-2005, 09:41 AM
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Lammy Lammy is offline
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now THAT is funny!!!


where the hell is my brown knob!
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Old 10-06-2005, 01:56 AM
papawestray papawestray is offline
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hey santa
funny you should mention that you take your proofs home to your kiddiewinkle

thats how i got into colour.
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:57 PM
overprintboy overprintboy is offline
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Make sure you get revisions/suggestions from your own sales group knowitalls on paper so it WONT be your fault.
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