Prepressforums.com

geozinger · #11 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 12:15 PM

More horror stories:

Client's designer takes another position far away. Client decides to produce monthly newsletter herself. Client completes job in RageMaker, sends us CD of job. CD is a shortcut to her job on the company's central server somewhere. I call her to retrieve job, and I ask her if she's familiar with RageMaker.

Her:"Oh yes, I've been using it for years..."
Me: Then you're familiar with the "Save for Service Provider" plug-in?
Her: The what???
Me: OK, let's try making a PDF from PM...
Her: How do you do that? You can't make a PDF from PM...
Me: OK, I'll send the salesman over to pick up another CD...
Me, later: Where the h*ll did I put that bottle of Scotch? What do you mean it's only 9:30 AM???

Another client calls yesterday. We had been printing their monthly newsletter for the last 5 years. We have all of the files, all Mac/Quark/Illy/Photoshop. We had supplied background templates for other departments in house newsletters. But this one goes out to the general public. Similar situation, previous marketing guy moved on to another position, again, clueless administrative type decides, hey this stuff is easy, any monkey can do it...
Her: I would like you to supply me with templates for the newsletter.
Me: OK, what software are you working with?
Her: Publisher. Doesn't everybody have Publisher?
Me (in Fantasyworld): reaches thru phone, snaps neck like chicken.
Me (in real world): Yes, that's one of the many programs we work with here...
Me (still in real world): we supplied two other departments with background templates in .WMF and .EPS format. Will that work for you?
Her: Yeah, whichever is better.
Me (in Fantasyworld): reaches thru phone, snaps neck like chicken, again.
Me (in realword): OK. I'll send both. Be aware that the templates will use PMS 560 as a spot color.
Her: What do you mean, spot color?
Me (in Fantasyworld): reaches thru phone, snaps neck like chicken, for the third time.
Me, later: Where the h*ll did I put that bottle of Scotch? What do you mean it's only 9:45 AM???

:evil: :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil:

(Let me say right now, I am NOT misogynistic, it just so happens these two encounters were with women. I can give you plenty more stories of clueless guys, but I'm sure there's not enough server space...)

prepress_brillance_43 · #12 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 12:34 PM

Good one Geo... I think the moral of the stories here is: If a designer asks, "Why would I have to do that?, or What do you mean? or How do you...?, or any variation of that: RUN. Run as fast as you can as far as you can because they are not going to admit that, "I'm a designer who knows nothing, and think it's ok because it looks pretty on my screen, so I must be an artist." This is God's wonderful gift to us brains in prepress. It's his "challenge for the day" for us. He says " Hey watch how mad I can make so and so this morning(snickers)."

Me> "Don't worry God, I'll be up there one of these days, and I don't forget. Just be sure you watch where you sit down, I have a tendency to pull chairs out from under people." :twisted:

seetomtype · #13 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 12:37 PM

A designer just left from one of our better clients (fired for being pregnant
and paid what she's worth). The position has now gone to the "graphics
assistant" who is still in school 8O , though I didn't ask what she was getting
a degree in. With my luck it's Environmental studies or something
unassociated with print/design. She sends over an ID CS job with no
fonts or links and one of her 2 spot colors set as a 4cp value. I phone
her and walk her through getting me what I need (no ma'm, just give me
links, I'll fix them here and make sure they work). After the job is proofed,
produced, and delivered I get an email saying "I am really looking forward
to working on projects with you, Tom. I am sure you can teach me what
I need to know about print production." Great, I think, I didn't really have
enough problems as it was. What a stoke of luck for me to teach you
how to submit print jobs :roll:

Life is good, then you go to work...

pressman2 · #14 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 12:45 PM

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It really doesn't get any better, does it?

#15 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 01:24 PM

this was a good one for friday afternoon! especially considering the prepress hell i lived through this week. might even be a topic for conversation at the BAR today!!

geozinger · #16 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pressman2

It really doesn't get any better, does it?

I really think this all "took a turn for the worst" when we introduced desktop publishing. In the early stages, professionals in the biz were doing most of the work, and understood why things were done a certain way.

With the Adobe casting PageMaker as an 'office' type of program, and the MSOffice apps becoming almost universal, most any person thinks they can do this work. Just use the 'wizard' and everything will be perfect... :roll:

In the last 15 or so years, I have seen a steady decrease in the quality of printed pieces, not the actual ink on paper, some of that has actually gotten better, but I'm referring to the quality of typesetting, pictures and overall layout. And, as sub-standard design and typesetting (not to mention poor spelling, intentional or not!) becomes the norm, you see more of it being replicated in other forms of media, like TV and newspapers.

Maybe I WILL go back to driving a truck... 8O

Sally · #17 (**permalink**) 05-13-2005, 04:14 PM

Hehe! My sister used to drive a truck. She made a great deal more than I do...
I got into prepress coming from getting a AA in Computer Graphics, then a BA. Coming from the 2-year school was night and day to the 4 year. The 2-year school was taught mostly by working professionals in the design and print industry. Your classmates were often strippers, platemakers and traditional designers who were coming back to night classes to advance their career. The 4-year school was a tricky. Either you got the right professors who could actually teach you something or you got the drunken intern. Your classmates constantly clamored for more time to get things done- usually measured in weeks.
In the end, I felt like they were teaching people less how to be designers and more how to be salesman.

geozinger · #18 (**permalink**) 05-14-2005, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sally

Hehe! My sister used to drive a truck. She made a great deal more than I do...

No kidding. I mean I could make 50% more per year if I went over the road...

Of course, the downside is I wouldn't have to deal with the dingbat administrative 'geniuses' like the ones in my earlier post...

Wait a minute...

Now just where did I put my application for CDL?... :twisted:

pressman2 · #19 (**permalink**) 05-14-2005, 12:01 PM

Darn DMV closes early on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wazeygoose · #20 (**permalink**) 05-16-2005, 02:37 PM

Question:
What do you do when one of your own salesman who has constantly criticised the prepress dept purchases his own Mac and version of QuarkXpress for installation at home?

Answer:
Laugh, very loudly ... because he's now having to sort out all his own shit that he's given to us over the last 5 years and making a complete balls up of it all!

Come on all you prepress boys and girls, sing along with me

Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee Hohoho Hahaha Heeheehee - now doesn't Monday feel a lot better!