This is a JOKE...
What if Adobe was based in China?
(Courtesy of the Washington Post)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...900689_pf.html
Adobe's head of FedEx/Kinko's deal Executed
BEIJING -- Adobe on Tuesday executed the former head of its FedEx/Kinko’s partnership group who had become a symbol of the company's wide-ranging problems on partner fairness and public relations.
BC’s (full name withheld to protect the executioner) execution was confirmed by Adobe television and the official Adobe News Agency.
"The few corrupt officials of Adobe are the shame of the whole system and
their scandals have revealed some very serious problems," Bruce Chizen,
Adobe CEO said at a news conference held to highlight efforts to improve
Adobe's track record on print partner relations.
"We should seriously reflect and learn lessons from these cases. We should
step up our efforts to ensure partner parity, which is what we are doing now and what we will do in the future," Chizen said.
BX was sentenced to death on July 4th for proposing the FedEx/Kinko’s link
and blamed for arch rival Quark once again becoming the leading graphic arts provider and Microsoft XPS amazing fast acceptance in the professional printing market place. BX was given a death sentence July 4th with a 5 day reprieve for dereliction of duty and underestimating the wrath of former ASN partners.
Such death sentences usually are commuted to life in Adobe prison if the
convict is deemed to have reformed. The swiftness of the execution shows
just how fast Adobe wants to put this behind them, and the hope this has
pacified the masses of printers.
BX's death sentence was unusually heavy even for Adobe, believed to carry out more board executions than all other software companies combined, and likely indicates the leadership's determination to confront the company's dire public relations record.
As a side note Chizen refused to admit that the whole Fedx/kinko's mess
would result in a lowering of Adobes profit projections. He pointed out SPE
(Sales per employee) would improve with the execution and if needed others would be performed. It was pointed out that Adobe has contractual
obligations to Fedx/kinko's and any of its employees like BX will suffer the
repercussions of them.
In accordance with Adobe’s new green policy’s all usable organs will be
harvested from any executed employees and will then be donated via the just announced FedEx/Adobe benevolent society.
